Sunday, May 30, 2010 Sabbra Cadabra

And so for once in a blue moon, i'm happy with everything. Actually i'm probably deluded, doped up on love from a little angel I know - but i'd have to be a madman to complain about anything. I had intended to write more when I started this, but I just dont give a fuck about anything except her right now, so I guess it's not a very good day to blog. GoodNIGHT.

There have been exactly three times that I've had to wonder if everything she said to me was worthless. One of those times was irrational. Take that and divide it by the amount of times I was sure that she held undying love for me, and it's probably about 1000 to 1 =D When I put this into perspective, it means a great deal to me, such a gift, given the horror stories that different walks of love have put me through. On the day that marks our 12 months together it seems to mean so much more.

I'm so young, yet i've already found the greatest joy life has to offer. Unfortunately, everything else now is just... second best <3

Thank you for a great year sweetheart.

Friday, May 21, 2010 Its only taboo with you

I can't stand myself. The way I get sometimes, it drives me nuts. I start with a thought, follow through to a request, but if that gets shot down or brushed off - I find myself in a pickle. No matter how much I want to, I won't ask twice cause it makes me feel like i'm nagging (for lack of a better word). But if I know if I don't try again, I wont get it. Normally its not a problem, but in some cases I just get pissed off. I get pissed off at myself, for feeling the need to kill my ambitions. In turn, I don't get what I want.

I hate picking up dog shit.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010 Mother of mercy

They call it 'Serendipity' - the event of finding great fortune while on the path to greater cause or purpose. My purpose? Be all I can be. LOLOLOL, funny stuff. What the fuck was I thinking? I couldn't go about this when in fact, I had no knowledge of the one who brings out the best in me. She was living her life out as well, in Logan lake of all places. It took pain and catastrophe and addiction and love and loss for me to find her... despite the hard feelings from time to time, I am reminded how fortunate I am, every time I see her.

Monday, May 10, 2010 Make shit clear

Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind.

~Austin O'Malley

As the world turns

Not now, but soon, i'll be on my own. Maybe not literally, but in a sense, because i'll be living in my own place, getting MY life on track for the rest of my days. Its pretty important shit. On my own to face a world that is made to sound so harsh and unforgiving, that at times, even without evidence we draw that conclusion. But really, I don't think its all that bad. I manage to take note of the people who keep my faith in humanity from failing. I know that i'm not the only one who is feeling that way - in fact, I think they call it 'teenage angst'. It's funny.. sometimes I like to take comfort in the fact that i'm not the only one facing it. And other times I wonder why the fuck i'm looking for comfort anyway.

Really though, I donno much about all that. The other 6 or 7 billion people on earth can't be nearly as bad as the majority of people I happen to know.
I am beginning to think I just attract bitches.

What I do know, is that my girl is like no other =) even in this crazy world she can keep me from going over the edge. She seems to like to cut it close tho... Sometimes I think she's almost as insane as I am, and I love her for that (among other things).